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Are You Finding The Courage To Say “NO” To People And Things That Don’t Serve You?

“We need to find the courage to say ‘NO’ to the things and people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity.”
Barbara De Angelis

I recently posted this empowering quote on The Profit Garden’s business page on www Facebook.com.

Have you ever said to yourself, “Ugh, it’s one of those days. It started off great. Lesson learned. Why do I forget that it’s better to say no than it is to try and please everyone else?

Have you ever felt you were being stretched in too many directions?

Or perhaps you’ve come to a cross roads with some of your friends and/or family not understanding the direction your life is moving towards.

When I was much younger it took awhile for me to grasp the idea that it is perfectly okay to let go of friendships that weren’t serving me. My younger self was under the impression that once I was friends with someone, we were always going to be friends. And that’s not to say that we can’t have lifetime friendships. I do and you likely do as well. However, it’s totally impossible to be all things to all people all of the time. I’ve learned to just be the best I can be for myself. If the friendship is solid and true, it will stand the test of time.

The same is true with things and situations. When I made the decision to always stop saying, “yes” and to learn to say “no” to the things and people that weren’t serving me, that’s when my life became richer and I was a better friend to others.

We live in a rapidly evolving world today. People and things come into our lives and affect us in different ways. It’s difficult at times to know when it might be better for us to step away, to let go of all the noise, the mindless chatter in our heads, and the situations and people that aren’t serving us. And those of you with young families it’s difficult I know to find the time to step away just for yourself. And yet when you do schedule the time for yourself and make that commitment, you’ll find that it was well worth it. And your family members will appreciate you even more.

Taking time for ourselves whether it’s for a massage, a walk in the woods, a body wrap, curled up with a good read, meditation, or whatever it is that soothes and relaxes your body, mind, and spirit isn’t just nice to do once in awhile. For me it’s a basic necessity for living life with joy.

And in these moments when we are totally “within” ourselves is the time that we find the courage we need.

What are you letting go of that doesn’t serve you anymore?

And what soothes and relaxes you?

I welcome your comments.


25 Responses to “Are You Finding The Courage To Say “NO” To People And Things That Don’t Serve You?”

  1. This is a very good life lesson, if only it weren’t so simple advice more people could accept and adapt it.Then what a remarkable positive change would occur. The reason I say so simple, its that the most difficult actions of self improvement are very often those things people thinks are so simple that will not work, our say Oh, we knew that…but the truth its they didn’t act to make the change.

  2. Great article, friendy! It does take guts to look at this one, let alone actually do something about it. Thanks for a thought-provoking read!

  3. Thanks so much for your wisdom Joel.I appreciate you.

  4. Caroline, coming from you that is high praise. Thank you. Inspiration was flowing and so I rode the energy wave.

  5. Saying ‘No’ is so very important, and empowering. There are so many ways to say no, yet people are so uncomfortable doing so.

  6. Coach Grace thank you for your wise counsel.My hope is that people will make the effort and discover that the more times they do, life will get better.

  7. So true- and so important in more ways than one. No I cannot honor your request and no you can no long use me, abuse me, disrespect me…

  8. Thank you Val. I appreciate your courageous words.

  9. While I wrote about much the same thing a while back, I still find myself struggling from time to time with this very issue. I need to stop saying yes, so that I can better focus on the tasks and projects that will bring the most to my clients and to me in return.

    Thanks for the reminder!

  10. Sandi your message is very accurate, we often get wrapped up in relationships that are capable of dragging ourselves down or are enabling weaknesses in others. Great point to take care of yourself!

  11. It certainly takes courage to say no. In our desire to fit in and to please, we say yes when we mean no. Do that too often and we eventually lose ourselves and stop living authentically.

    I recently tackled this topic myself and am glad to find a kindred spirit!
    Saying no Gracefully

  12. Thank you Coach Mi. I appreciate your wise counsel and the truth in your words. Your blog post “Saying No Gracefully”is right on the mark. I will certainly connect with you on Facebook.

  13. Thank you Sue. I appreciate your comments. We so often forget to take care of ourselves first.

  14. Thank you as always Mallie. And I will make a point to read your post.

  15. I am glad you didn’t hit the publish button otherwise it may have passed me. GREAT!! I am learning to be more thoughtful in this area. My expertise is always focused on others personal goals. I love the challenge yet, there are times when I need to take that Sat. morn off to chill and hang with the kids. Thank you for the spanking.

  16. Thanks Kelly. I appreciate you and your comments.

  17. Great reminder that we can’t live by someone else’s expectations. True to myself … I’m practicing.

  18. Sandi. True. Hard to say No, but great when you said so. Saying No gives you power: the power to fulfill your dreams.

  19. wonderful topic and glad to see you wrote about it. A nice reminder of letting go of the “toxic” relationships we find ourselves in. I have had to do this with family and friends and although it was hard the peace it brought to my inner being was well worth the courage it takes!

  20. Thank you Dawn. I appreciate hearing your comments on this topic. And yes the peace it brings is well worth it.

  21. Thanks Fabrizio. I appreciate your comment.

  22. Hi Sandy. It’s definitely tough sometimes to say “No” to people and things that don’t serve you. I think the way to look at it is that there is only so much time in a day and you can either spend that time doing something positive or squander it away doing something that benefits no one. Another point I would like to make is that I notice for myself that I need to be careful not to do too much for people that don’t appreciate it–otherwise I become frustrated and angry with them. Give time to the people that love you and you will never regret it.

  23. Hi Bill, These are all good points that you make.

  24. Right on, Sandy! We all need to know when to say “no”. Sometimes, the fear of losing someone’s friendship or respect is the reason many people say “yes” even though they wanted to say “no” instead. Thanks for the refresher!

  25. Thanks Ligia, I appreciate you visiting my blog and commenting. Yes, sometimes people feel they are in a bind and choose what turns out to be not the right choice after all.

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